Being and Empowerment: Introduction

(This is the rough beginning of what I hope will be the introduction of a long essay spoken about in the essay blog. Most of the research will be documented there but I will be posting chapters and paragraphs here. I would love some feedback on the content and suggestions for other literary sources to be used.)


I have been thinking about the social model of personal and community development envisioned in the Baha'i community. It is becoming more and more apparent that the unity we envision will only come about when each of us take ownership of our potential and responsibility to the process. There will be no passive observers in the transformation.

For many it is challenging to be around large crowds of people. There is an inverse relationship between the number of people at a gathering and the quality of interaction that ensues. At a certain point one can feel completely isolated. In the Baha'i community, there has been a significant shift in the past few years to hold activities in peoples homes instead of a centralized location. These activities are no longer events in which a few perform and the rest spectate. Instead, everything is viewed as a process of building capacity within ourselves and the community. Being a Baha'i means actively working to overcome the divisions which plague our society, not standing in the larger and larger rooms together until the whole world is enclosed.

All too often we have been content with a superficial unity reflected in a type of large group mingling. In the dominance of the crowd the real potential and vulnerabilities of people are neglected, and hence we become passive observers to an evanescent impulse. Thus, as Paulo Freire would conceptualize it, we are like banks in which those who speak eloquently and can dominate a discussion deposit their wisdom as the rest of us save it up. This is how most religion today operates, with the members coming a few times a month to "do the church thing", without reflecting on how it relates to their lives and institutions.

We must realize that we have been given the spiritual tools and the dignity to realize the change within our hearts and to build these new divine institutions with our own hands. A Baha'i study circle stands as a model of engaging people of very different bearings in a singular study of spiritual human potential, while at the same time providing the flexibility of dialogue and independent thought. In each study course, a new practice is introduced which builds capacity for service to the community. By completing the last study course people are trained to bring along others through this process.

Spiritual empowerment requires an understanding of being itself and the process of a self-reflection and spiritualization. As this concept is investigated we can begin to define its relevance in a collective process to create real change in the world. The question of being has been a preoccupation of philosophers and religionists for quite some time. Martin Heidegger devoted his whole philosophical career to exploring this question, while Paulo Freire identified the "humanization" of being as a prerequisite to social transformation. This essay attempts to explore the historical thinking on being and community empowerment and place in a spiritual context using the Baha'i institute process as a model.

The Brilliance or Arrogance of Cormac McCarthy

I love the writing of Cormac McCarthy, his use of language is absolutely unmatched. I know he is good enough to deserve creative licence, and this isn't even technically a run-on sentence. But seriously, is the story better served by not having a period for 10 lines or so. The sentence after it makes it even funnier, it's like he's making a joke. He does this sort of stuff all the time, he also writes sentence fragments constantly. I would understand if it was poetry or it made the storytelling better, but it isn't and it doesn't. Maybe I just don't understand this aspect of his profound writing, will some McCarthy devotee please illumine me?


"It came boring out of the east like some ribald satellite of the coming sun howling and bellowing in the distance and the long light of the headlamp running through the tangled mesquite brakes and creating out of the night the endless fenceline down the dead straight right of way and sucking it back again wire and post mile on mile into the darkness after where the boilersmoke disbanded slowly along the faint new horizon and the sound came lagging and he stood still holding his hat in his hands in the passing groundshudder watching it till it was gone. Then he turned and went back to the house."

Stuff that's happening

I've been thinking about what to write on this blog. There have been a couple of false starts, words have just fallen flat. I am really excited about an ongoing essay project. The scope of it will probably have to be toned down at some point, or else it will never get written. It was going to be collaborative, but that is looking less likely. I feel an intense need to engage in collaborative, creative writing projects with other people. I have tried to initiate things but nothing seems to get off the ground, which is a little bit frustrating. Maybe it is a sign that I need to put more energy in other aspects of my life right now.

Speaking of which, Sjo and I visited some of her family this evening. I had a really nice time, they are all very wonderful people. Here are some photos...





Jimmy and I. Jimmy is one of the most interesting people I have met. He is so good hearted and full of energy. I have to say it took me a while to get used to his personality, but now I love being around him, he makes me happy.

One of the cutest pictures I personally have taken of Sjo

The cousins. Nancy is in the middle, she is awesome. Very inquisitive, open minded, and mindful of things.

Jimmy, who is an artist, painted this on three different panels, each of which he gave away. We will have to all get together again to create the full picture.

And finally a moment of deep understanding and recognition...

Shout Out

Check out this website. It hosts daily video discussions among bloggers and other public thinkers on a wide range of topics.

A Bikeride

Sjona and I took a bike ride along the Rio Grande today. The last time we rode I had themes of landscape and nostolgia heavy on my mind. Today not so much, just happy to be with the one I love.









Just kidding, here we are below...

Cycle 6, part 4

As we spoke on the phone he sounded nervous but very friendly. His name was Jim and he was enthusiastic about getting his three year old daughter into a children class. As I met them in the apartment lobby, his daughter had a huge smile on her face. She acted shy when I greeted her but approached me soon after with a hug.

As I presented the Faith, his daughter stammered for attention, one second doing something cute and getting a laugh, the next second hitting her dad for averting his eyes. While it was tough for both of us to maintain concentration, he was incredibly patient with her....

"So what is it that has drawn you to the Baha'i Faith?"

"You know we all come from a different place, and mainly that it seems that the Baha'i's to want to include everybody, of different colors, tall, short, skinny and not..."

"...Do you believe Baha'u'llah is the manifestation of God for today, would you like to be part of the Baha'i community?"

"Yeah, I do believe this, I think the Baha'i Faith is just what I have been looking for."

"Well that's great, welcome, we would love for you to join us.

"Yeah, you know I have been wanting to get involved with a religious community, and I have really been wanting to get Emily involved with some sort of children's activities..."

It is always kind of shocking to me that people can accept a religious faith based on such a simple, yet potent concept of unity. In a couple of situations now I have wanted to question them deeper, make sure they know what they are getting into. I don't know if I am projecting my own lingering sense of doubt onto them. In this case Jim was sure, he just KNEW. now that I think about it, I always knew intuitively that this was the truth. I went through an intense period of questioning, one in which I could barely function, but I always KNEW.

A few days later I called him to see how the first devotional gathering went. Apparently his daughter didn't want to leave, I could tell that this made him very happy.

It is obvious that he is devoted to her upbringing. It is not easy, she is very hyperactive and he is a single father.

As I sat across from him at the first Baha'i Feast, I couldn't concentrate on the prayers, I knew that she was getting fidgety and he was getting anxious. I anxiously hoped that he wouldn't feel embarrassed. Other kids were walking and climbing around, so I hoped that set his mind at ease. Finally the children's table opened up and she ran over along with about 10 other kids. As she worked on her butterfly, her dad watched with approving eyes. She kept running back to show her dad the art, relate to him her excitement, and then get back to the table where the fun was.

Window in Time

The old windows drip. Surrounding me on three sides, I lay still in the moonlight a reflection of my waking self.

The bedroom was slapped onto the side of the house to raise it's market value. There is not much privacy, for them either.

The rain is relentless tonight. Once barking proud dogs, they now lay cowed in the street-lit shed. I wake many times in and out of various lives of questionable form and meaning.

For a moment I am the same as I was staring through that window. In what could be a memory, or could have been a dream, shadows of women are storing herbs and grains in large jars which slowly dissolve into the cupboard. They only emerge during sunset when the dusk intrudes on both sources of light.

I am the same as I was basking in the ray of light coming through the large sliding glass door. I am sharing the warm spot with Sambi, our black Labrador Retriever. Her name had been Sambo until my mom was told that it had a negative racial connotation. I was once envious of her four-legged life. I needed to understand her secret, take in the subtle exhilarants waiting beyond the backyard fence near the abandoned buildings and warehouse alleyways. Maybe dig a hole in the backyard and relish the cool earth on a hot day.

Vines hang down from the ceiling. Little plants are being raised in tofu containers and the water is draining through the punched holes. The electric light is a surrogate father until they peek through the window and delve into the universal soil of their kin.

An Inspiring Way to Raise a Child

For a couple of years now I have been admiring how Aria and James are raising Sasha, and appreciating that they are documenting the whole thing. I know Aria is getting into education, I think she already has an outstanding resume.

Why He Blogs

"For centuries, writers have experimented with forms that evoke the imperfection of thought, the inconstancy of human affairs, and the chastening passage of time. But as blogging evolves as a literary form, it is generating a new and quintessentially postmodern idiom that’s enabling writers to express themselves in ways that have never been seen or understood before. Its truths are provisional, and its ethos collective and messy. Yet the interaction it enables between writer and reader is unprecedented, visceral, and sometimes brutal. And make no mistake: it heralds a golden era for journalism."


Check out this great article by Andrew Sullivan on blogging

Cycle 6, Part 3

Looking up at the clock, it was 5:20pm and we still had a work meeting to attend to. Mary and I were sitting in the secure room waiting anxiously to get out so that we could meet Camilla at 6pm. I had called her the night before.

"Hello, is Camilla there?"

"And who is this?"

"O, uh, my name is Jason, I am from the Baha'i community here in Albuquerque, I was made aware that you were interested in learning more about the Baha'i Faith."

"Yes, yes, I would like to join your church"

Wow, okay, lets make sure she knows what she's getting into

"Oh, okay, well would you like to meet up sometime so that we could talk about it?"

"So how long have you been in this church?"

"For about 10 years, yeah my mom was a Baha'i and after some investigation I found it to be the truth for myself. How did you get interested in the faith?"

"I met some Baha'is who have an art shop on the plaza, I was very impressed by how helpful they were to each other. I used to be a Mormon, but now I would like to join your church."

"Okay, can we meet up and discuss this further?"

The directions she gave me to her house were incredibly descriptive, and she spoke in a slow and deliberate manner, a style very different than my own. I am not always very good at recalling details on the spot, which makes me a horrible verbal storyteller. I really, really wanted to say, 'just give me an address, I will look it up online." But I waited...

We rushed over and were greeted into her house. My initial read of her seemed to be correct. Her energy was very grounded, she was a little shy but beauty and understanding reflected from her eyes. There was opera music in the background, which complemented the many paintings that hung in her house. Silence filled in the gap as we sat down and she sat there looking back at us, waiting for us to make a pitch.

"So if you are interested we brought this presentation, maybe we can go through it and see what you think."

"Okay, whatever you like."

As I presented, I couldn't help but notice that she she was respectfully waiting for this social formality to pass over.

"Do you believe that Baha'u'llah is a manifestation of God?"

"Everybody is a manifestation of God"

"Yeah, that's true, um, though Baha'u'llah is making a big claim here, He is saying that he is the promised one of all ages, foretold in the books of the past. Do believe that he is telling the truth?"

She paused for the briefest moment before saying:

"yeah, I believe that."

Time when on, she spoke of meeting a friend for lunch. While in conversation she had told her friend about meeting with the Baha'is in the evening, to which her friend responded:

"I'm a Baha'i, I just declared two weeks ago!

Throughout the presentation her phone had been ringing off the hook. Partway through the presentation she decided to answer it. Another friend also wanted to know about the Faith. She showed up at 6:50pm.

"So what is the Baha'i Faith?"

"Well the main theme of the Baha'i Faith...you know what, do you mind if I use this presentation, it kind of helps me keep my thoughts in order."

"Okay, but in five minutes is the vice presidential debate."

I presented for five minutes while Mary started Ruhi book 1 with Camille. We made plans to visit again the following week.

Thinking partly in jest, this is an example of how politics distracts us from what is really important. I was awed by what had just taken place, but I also wanted to watch the debate.

Cycle 6, Part 2

The doorway had one of those "no smoking, oxygen in use" signs. About a minute passed and we were on our way out when a very old lady with a flower dress opened the door and told us to come in. Her name was Virginia and she was sitting on the couch gazing indifferently. She was hard of hearing but sharp as a nail. I did my best to accommodate her train of thought and ask her permission to continue with each part of the presentation. I felt like a respectful grandson. Looking on the wall, she had several pictures of kids. "Are those your grandchildren?" I asked. "Great-grandchildren", she proudly replied. While she was white her great grandchildren were of all different racial backgrounds. I couldn't help but be awed that somebody of her generation could be proud of such diversity in her family.

"Do you see the light of God in these words?" "Of course". "So what do you think, do you think that Baha'u'llah is the manifestation of God for this day?" "Well, yeah I do."

"Do your family members visit you often?" "No, they don't really come by".

I feel that one of the devastating consequences of modern transportation is that families are scattered. I find it hard to believe that somebody with dozens of grandchildren and great-grandchildren has to spend many of her final hours alone.

This has also helped me realize the value of this type of teaching. In the past we would hold big events and hope that people would be attracted to us. People would come, but only those who were actively discontent with their current spiritual resources and had the means to do something about it. Somebody like Virginia, with her immobility and everyday struggles would have never knocked down our doors. We knocked on her door and her heart was ready. She will probably never see the Baha'i center, but she will be every part of the community, with people to visit and care about her.

Teaching does not precede community development; they are inextricable. Now we have the tools to manifest the principles that we always believed were latent, even outside the walls of our Baha'i center.

Cycle 6, Part 1

I missed the last expansion phase so when I first arrived in the Baha'i Center holding five hours of sleep and a large coffee-extra shot in hand, it still had not occured to me that in a few hours I would be standing in a doorway on my third sentence still not calm enough to take a breath. She listened carefully and then politely answered "no" to my question, "Do you see the light of God in these words". After about an hour of "I'm busy", or "I'm not home even though the music is on" (Which is a strategy I must admit I have use many times to avoid proselytizers), a young lady answered the door. "These quotes are beautiful", she said after about the 3rd page of Anna's Presentation. A few minutes later she acknowledged what her soul had surely recognized from the start, that Baha'u'llah is the manifestation God for this age. A conversation started about her family, how her and her husband were looking for a church, and how much she missed her three kids who had been taken away. At this point she couldn't keep the composure that is afforded to those who can take their loved ones for granted. Francis, one of my teaching partners, immediately found her gaze and with hands locked recited a healing prayer:

"They Name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. They mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come, Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise." -Baha'u'llah

In tears she took a prayer book, which we would find out two days later from her husband had been used fervantly in prayer. He was getting ready to be re-deployed. With courteous manners and hard eyes, he was not yet ready to recieve God in his heart again. He did see her however, and her eyes were open.

Expansion

The Albuquerque Baha'i community has just started its sixth expansion phase. Last cycle we welcomed over 50 new souls into the community, an occurrence I was not able to participate in due to a crazy work schedule. I have been itching to get out into the teaching field again, and today was a wonderful day.

I have been thinking a lot lately on the unlimited potential of this day. Sometimes it is hard to realize the transformation of the world when you are in the thick of it. It is easy to get complacent and forget that our lives our fleeting while the opportunities are so great. What we are doing as Baha'is, this process of expansion and consolidation, is more than just teaching the Faith, it is showing people a way through all of the false dichotomies, all the cruel and banal constructs we have nested in. Most of all, by teaching and engaging in the lives of others, we are realizing for ourselves the Word of God; we are finding ourselves as we find others.

Over the course of this cycle I hope to keep a running log of my experiences and reflections from the field. So many emotions pass through, and I want to remember them

Exciting New Project

I am excited about a new project Brenden and I are starting. The eventual goal is to write an essay loosely on the relationship being spiritual being, pedagogical empowerment, and community development. To do this we are reading both Baha'i and non-Baha'i books together on these themes. So far we have decided to read Martin Heidegger's "Being and Time", Paulo Freire's "Pedagogy of the Oppressed", various readings from Shoghi Effendi, various readings on the Baha'i institute process, and plenty of the writings of Baha'u'llah along the way.


Hopefully the process by which we write the essay will evolve as we learn and develop new ideas. We want the final essay to be both rational and poetic, objective and subjective, deductive and inductive, etc. The idea is that the structure of the essay will reflect the subject matter we are writing about, that being intentional evolution on both personal and collective scales.

The process of reading, writing, and reflecting will be documented Here.

"Making Social Science Matter"

I am in the process of reading an insightful book called "Making Social Science Matter" by Bent Flyvbjerg. The social sciences, he argues, will always fail to gain the comprehensive theoretical structure of the "hard sciences" because it studies subjects as opposed to objects, who are inherantly more dynamic and unpredictable and change their behavior depending on the context. He suggests that the social sciences pursue a more context-dependent, action/reflection oriented, practical approach, which will empower communities to generate knowledge based upon their own experience and not through some abstract theory.

Even if he overlooks the spiritual dimension of community development, his prescription contains many useful parallels to the Baha'i institute process.

I won't describe the book in any more detail because Ryan has already given an excellent review.

Sapling

The Word of God may be likened unto a sapling, whose roots have been implanted in the hearts of men. It is incumbent upon you to foster its growth through the living waters of wisdom, of sanctified and hold words, so that is root may become firmly fixed and its branches may spread out as high as the heavens and beyond.

-Baha'u'llah



Taking root, satiated no longer, the rotten stump has finally released its burden and we realize the ontological bankruptcy. There is no more power that can be willed without a heavy dose of nausea. But here we are, every moment is a potential foundation for something.



The world's equilibrium hath been upset through the vibrating influence of this most great, this new World Order. Mankind's ordered life hath been revolutionized through the agency of this unique, this wondrous system-the like of which mortal eyes have never witnessed.

-Baha'u'llah



Something is happening in the world right now that is being overlooked by the news media and its obsession with the snarky politics born of a lower nature. It is being missed because it is taking root in the hearts and minds of the most vulnerable, receptive, and pure hearted among us, slowly maneuvering through the forgotten soil of forgotten potential, gaining strength in a process which is a reflection of the original divine impulse. It cannot be, will not be belittled, will not be disregarded as we disregard our corrupted leaders. Of what would be perceived as a threat to the decomposing heroes of world order, it is just beneath the surface.



A new life is, in this age, stirring within all the peoples of the earth; and yet none hath discovered its cause or perceived its motive...O friends! Be not careless of the virtues with which ye have been endowed, neither be neglectful of your high destiny. Suffer not your labors to be wasted through the vain imaginations which certain hearts have devised. Ye are the stars of the heaven of understanding, the breeze that stirreth as at the break of day, the soft-flowing waters upon which must depend the very life of all men, the letters inscribed upon His sacred scroll. With the utmost unity, and in a spirit of perfect fellowship, exert yourselves, that ye may be enabled to achieve that which beseemth this Day of God. Verily I say, strife and dissension, and whatsoever the mind of man abhorreth are entirely unworthy of his station. Center your energies in the propagation of the Faith of God. Whoso is worthy of so high a calling, let him arise and promote it. Whoso is unable, it is his duty to appoint him who will, in his stead, proclaim this Revelation, whose power hath cased the foundations of the mightiest structures to quake, every mountain to be crushed in to dust, and every soul to be dumbfounded. Should the greatness of this Day be revealed in its fullness, every man would forsake a myriad of lives in his longing to partake, though it be for one moment, of its great glory-how much more this world and its corruptible treasures!

-Baha'u'llah



There are no news cameras in the room where hearts are met, where intentions among enclaves are woven with the divine spirit into collective action. There are no cameras in the world that will capture the groundswell until it is sudden and shocking. The trust of God is in our hands, and as we build so shall we become the trust of God.

I fear that we will forget and lose our sight...

The sun is setting and we chase the Kingdom's shadow.

Universal Life

Bryan has just posted an interesting essay in the collaborative blog Bahai Coherence called "Genesis, Evolution, and Aliens". Do check it out!

Disjoint

Mindful of the loneliness, Everything I love is so fleeting.

Who are you? So you are happy huh, sitting there in grave confidence, creating the stage for which people laugh in giddy relief? And you, always smiling, always playing the shallow yet lovable narcissist? You are excused, for now. And I, never making much of an impression, always distant (I am painfully aware), holding onto the moment with a white knuckle, too often sinking into a third reflection, cycling loneliness, alienation, love, contempt, respect, and despair.

The only language I speak in is salvation and tears. That is, when I am awake!

Too easy to shrivel up and release the form always being projected. Every comforting morsel is a mockery, an illusory attempt. Even writing these horrible words...A despicable mockery!

How can words capture a human being? Why do we feel that we are the only ones who are bewildered by the sheer enormity. All I want is to wipe away all defenses and be taken, with everyone.

Most aspiration is smitten with form, a tool of the spirit and a hologram otherwise.

What to do during writers block? Write about writing.

So I have been in a writing slump lately. I can no longer use a crazy work schedule as an excuse, since I am back to the 40 and life is pretty laid back at the moment. I thought I would utilise this writers block to reflect upon the purpose and nature of writing within a blog format, as well as think out loud about new directions to go in.

Writing has become incredibly important to me, especially in the last year. I find that it is a great way to give voice and to actively explore emotions and cognitions that might have remained sub-conscious otherwise. Blogging has given me a forum to think about the craft of writing as well as the content. What I mean is, I used to write a lot a few years ago without very much thought to word choice, sequence, rhythm etc, kind of a throw-up if you will. Looking back on it now is invaluable, not only to see the progression of my thought but also to realize how far the craft of it has come. I find that the focus on craft has greatly improved the content; ideas are more tightly knit and lend themselves to greater cohesiveness.

Too much concern about craft can often inhibit writing, which has been the biggest problem lately. I have a post in progress that I find disjointed and cliche, even if it is a true record of my feelings

I find it important to challenge myself in different styles of writing. When I was working on my thesis, academic writing would have become dry if I couldn't also write poetically. Recently I have attempted to write in fictional and non-fictional narrative styles, which has always seemed horribly daunting, but has turned out okay so far. A few of my posts have been essays on religious/spiritual themes. The approach has been an analytical one; I would also like to approach them subjectively and poetically. Another interest, which is the approach of many blogs, is to comment on current events in a thoughtful way and link up to different others who are doing the same.

Writing is a form of therapy, a means of reflection, and a chronological record of our experience in this life. I intend to invest more energy finding words for the experience.

Beautiful Art From...

Baghdad

improvisational collaborative writing

I have not posted much this summer due to time constraints as well as a side project Brenden, Jalal, and myself are working on. This side project has been exciting - The goal is to explore philosophical themes through character and alternate world development by developing a story in which its characters holding very different worldviews and temperaments can challenge and interact with one another on multiple levels. The exiting part comes from the fact that we are improvising off each other, taking the story and characters in new and (hopefully) logically consistent directions that none of us can predict. In a sense "role playing" in written form with the purpose of challenging various paradigms. This experiment thus far can be found in the link "introspective collaborative" in reverse chronological order, but I have listed the links below in chronological order if you are interested in reading what we have come up with so far.


Warrior Lucium
Lam of the Forming
Lucium T'Auren
Family Ties pt. 1
Family Ties pt. 2
Family Ties pt. 3
Fear
Untitled
The Chianvakst Nation

I wake up and I go

Wow, these last few weeks have been insane! Somehow I ended up with two jobs in my lap which overlap making me constantly busy. I have finished my degree. Sjona and I are still in the process of moving. Everything is different, everything has changed. My life is moving on.

Do you ever notice that successive stages in life take on distinctly different flavors?

My professional life is taking shape. Every day brings the fresh experiences, challenges, and doing-ness I have been waiting for after what seems to be a stale eternity of studying and preparing. Other parts of my life have been neglected. I have not been active in the Baha'i community just as fundamental transformation is manifesting. Sjona and I rarely see each other, let alone spend quality time together. I have neglected the strands of creative and exploratory writing which keep me sane and engaged. I have stopped exercising. Instead I wake up and I go, I do, I am acting without being.

August is when I end my research job and stop working 60 hour weeks. I am hoping that is when I can find balance again. I hope I can survive one more month of this.

Burma

These are some pictures from James Whitlow, who was in Burma during the cyclone. His photos capture the pure devastation of it. The photos are Here.

I have been disappointed in the world's response to this. The military government has blocked most forms of aid offered by the world community. Only now they are allowing it to trickle in, partially due to the strong diplomatic efforts of UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. But it must happen faster, there is no time to waste; the potential for much more misery and disease is looming. The world community must intervene if another country is destroying the most basic human right of its people, that of life. It will continue to fail miserably if it does not act with a unified vision of the unity of humankind. Only through this unity can we avoid future Rwanda's, Sudan's, and Burma's.

NEW YORK — Six Bahá’í leaders in Iran were arrested and taken to the notorious Evin prison yesterday in a sweep that is ominously similar to episodes in the 1980s when scores of Iranian Bahá’í leaders were summarily rounded up and killed.

Read the rest of the story here.

Please pray for the Bahá’ís in Iran!

Hidden Saga

We tend to forget whole sagas of ourselves. Either they get pushed away, or there is an ever so subtle change in focus and they drift, leaving behind some residue of opinion on the matter. Then one day, in a sudden, inescapable, and inconvenient moment...

Pulling up to the house of the sector Feast, it is early evening and the sunlight has faded just enough that the rich colors of this quaint Albuquerque neighborhood can challenge the tyranny of the dominant sunlight. Looking towards the door of the house, a small Indian lady with a warm smile is greeting people at the door. Planning to return the smile, I find her vaguely familiar, too vague and too familiar for comfort. Hmm, The moment has passed. I greeted her, but my thoughts were distant and my expression was probably blank. I walk in to a crowd full of people, some familiar, some vague...

Some people just give you an instant impression. As I look outside through the sliding glass door, I see what should be a normal middle aged man moving a chair and doing other normal things. But part of me knows that there is some issue with him, he seems to be avoiding the crowd. I can definetely relate to the social anxiety. There is something about his posture that...

Oh my God! Wait, could it be...(sigh) it is. And that was his mom. Oh my God, this can't be real. That has to be him.

I have been asked to read a prayer, but I am frozen. From the corner of my eye, I see him standing in the back as I start reading. Words evaporate out of the moment as I seem to be speaking them. Other prayers are said as a flood of emotions swirl, anger, sadness...I miss my mom. I want to give her comfort as her part of me faces this symbol of abandonment that is knocking down my doors. I am frozen. A long winded story is now being told about who the hell knows what...

The choices are clear, I can either avoid him by striking up a conversation with that person over there, or...okay lets do that.

Me: Hi, how are you

...(response)...

Me: I know I have met you before...

...(response)...

Hmm, that probably seemed a little over eager. Lets try him, we have known each other for a while, this might have potential.

.......

Or not. He Just turned away, okay, well I can't just stand in this living room and hide out. Screw it. I am going to face this thing head on.

Me: Hi Chris.

Chris: Uh, your Jason right?

Me: Yeah, how are you doing.

Wow, I am surprised by how warm my greeting was to him. I don't know if I really meant it or not.

Chris: I am doing well, wow, you've grown quite a bit.

Me: Are you, where are you living at? Do you live here in Albuquerque?

Chris: No I am living in Tuscon now, I just came to help my mom make her move up to Taos, She is the Indian lady outside.

I know that. she is the one who treated my mom like she was an inconvenience, an unworthy bride for her son. she was the one who tore you away from her...

Chris: We were here for the Gathering of Nations.

I remember once that she gave me a single marble for my 12th birthday present. I had hundreds of marbles already; one more was like a drop in the bucket. I remember that I had to put on a smiling face and feign excitement.

Me: Cool. Wow, Its nice seeing you guys here. What has it been, like 10 years?

Chris: Something like that, yeah.

Me: What are you up to these days?

I feel like we are two adults, with some mixed history, catching up on old times. This is definitely a change from the sorta fatherish sonish relationship before...
Okay, concentrate. He is saying something about working for a machining company, that he helped to grow it and then he trained people who became his replacements. I am not totally sure, just keep eye contact.

Me: Man, that's really messed up, so you help him develop the company, and then when you ask for more money, they replace you with the people you trained?

Why am I just repeating what I thought he just said? Maybe to let him know that I am paying close attention? I am starting to get nervous now.

Chris: Yeah man, but the experience was good. I want to get back to making jewelery full time. So what have you been up to?

Me: Well, um, I have been going to school for quite a while, I am actually getting ready to defend my thesis sometime in July."

Chris: what is your degree in?

Me: Well my focus has been in geographic information science, which is in the department of geography.

I have practiced how to present my studies to people. I used to just say geography, but people hearken back to their 5th grade days and assume that I spend sleepless nights memorizing capitals. That's pretty much what I thought until I found out about GIS.

Chris: What kinds of jobs are out there for that.

Another frequently asked question. My ego has learned to just assume that they are ignorant for not knowing that this is a fascinating and prospective field.

Chris: Is it mainly for the government?

Me: There's really a lot that can be done. Yeah, for the government but also the private sector. Um, I just interviewed with a company that does modeling for homeland security, they create probability scenarios, they essentially model all the different ways that certain key sites, like uh, you know military and also some political, are vulnerable to terrorist attacks.

Phew, that was convoluted, I am really starting to get nervous now, I know that he can see it too. I am wondering if he is proud of me. He looks a little bit nervous also. He is probably wondering what I am thinking about him, about this encounter. So far I haven't betrayed any hard feelings, I think.

Me: There are also a lot of jobs for environmental organizations, doing environment modeling, and compliance. Also with urban planning, disaster relief, stuff like that.

Chris: Wow, that's really cool. I always knew that you were smart.

Me: Yeah well..

Chris: Are you married?

Me: Yeah, that's my wife right over there. In the pink shirt talking to that lady.

Chris: Oh wow. That's really cool...well it looks like you have grown up to be a fine young man.

Me: Well, I don't know, we'll have to see about that.

A part of me hates when people make judgments about me after only a brief acquaintance or re-acquaintance, even when they are positive judgments. It is always based upon a superficial assessment of how I'm dressed maybe, the fact that I am married, the fact that I am getting a master's degree. These "stats" seem to suggest that I am a fine and wholesome young man, yet reality is always more mixed. I still have my issues, similar ones that I had before the "stats".

Nevertheless, a coating of ice is melting from my heart. He is truly happy to see me, and is truly impressed with how I have turned out. I can remember now what I loved so much about him. He was fun. He coached my Jr high basketball team, he collected sports cards, we went hiking, fishing, camping. He was often caring and mindful of what the family needed, he was industrious around the house, he was truly loving. Most of the time.

The last time I had seen him, he was barnstorming through the house, with that bandanna he wore when he was callous. His mom had wanted him to move back with her to Arizona; we were in Oregon. There had been fights, my mom had said some things that were harsh. Then out of the blue, when we were both gone, he had left. Only a note.

And that's how I had remembered him. Selfish, aggressive, somebody who had abandoned my mom. There had been no closure. Everything that I had loved about him had been inaccessible until now. A hidden saga of wonderful memories had been tainted and locked up. As I look at him now, I love him, and I know that he loves me, and I know that he knows that I love him.

Chris: And how is your mom?

I knew this would come up sooner or later.

Me: She's doing good. Yeah, she's going to school right now, studying electrical engineering.

Chris: Wow, that is a change...So is she still married to that guy, what's his name McGettigan?

Me: Yeah, it's going well, they are doing well.

Wow, that this is surreal. But nice, we are both smiling, just need to keep up the good feelings.

(time passes)

Me: This is my wife, Sjona.

Sjona: Hi, how are you doing.

Chris: Hi, I'm Chris.

Me: I knew him a long time back, we haven't seen each other for like 10 years.

Okay, I'll tell her who he is later

Chris: Yeah, I haven't seen this guy for a long time, I was actually married to his mom.

Sjona: Oh, ok. Wow that's cool that you guys have met up again.

Chris: You have found yourself a good catch. He was always really smart, and he had a lot of friends.

Well, actually, I didn't really have any friends most of the time we were both in Oregon. My weekends were spent alone, looking out the windows into the eternally gray Oregon skies. Oh well.

Chris: I remember that we would go riding our bikes along the beach. Do you remember that?

Me: Yeah yeah, that was fun.

I remember the beach, but I don't actually remember the bikes...

(time passes)

Me: I hope that your business idea works out. That would be really cool if you could go to Hawaii and do that.

Chris: Yeah, who knows, you know, I have a dream at least. Only God really knows what we are doing. I now know the reason I came here tonight, it was to see you again.

Me: Yeah, same here. It's funny, I wasn't actually wanting to come tonight, I, well I knew that I needed to come.

(phone numbers are exchanged. We hug and then we leave)

As I think about him now, I can finally understand that we are both human and we have both made mistakes. Many of my fondest memories involve him. He is like my brother. It didn't work out between him and my mom...

And that's okay.

FYI

I have just launched what will be a collaborative blog, containing essays from a Baha'i perspective on Religion, spirituality, and society. If you are interested in being a contributer, please leave a comment with your email, or email me at cognizing@gmail.com. The blog is here

A Biblical Case for Baha'u'llah

Introduction

“The time foreordained unto the peoples and kindreds of the earth is now come. The promise of God, as recorded in the Holy Scriptures, have all been fulfilled. Out of Zion hath gone forth the Law of God, and Jerusalem, and the hills and land thereof, are filled with the glory of His Revelation. Happy is the man that pondereth in his heart that which hath been revealed in the Books of God, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting. Meditate upon this, O ye beloved of God, and let you ears be attentive unto his Word, so that ye may, by His grace and mercy, drink your fill from the crystal waters of constancy, and become as steadfast and immovable as the mountain in His Cause. – Baha’u’llah

This is quite a remarkable claim made by Baha’u’llah. As a Baha’i I have come to believe that He is the manifestation of God for this age and the return of Jesus Christ foretold in the Bible. Christians have every right to be skeptical of this claim, for there are many warnings of false prophets in the New Testament. This essay is an exploration of Baha’u’llahs claim in light of the biblical writings concerning the nature of Jesus's return, and the reality of false prophets.


The Return of the Jesus

Throughout the Bible, there are many promises that Jesus will return. Probably the most fantastic mention, one that conjures up images of a sudden and awful cataclysmic event is:

"For just as the lightning comes from the east, and flashes even to the west, so shall the coming of the Son of Man be...But immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken, and then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky with power and great glory." Matthew 24:27-30

It is quite a leap of faith to interpret these images literally. If stars literally fell from the sky, the planet would be burned up before they made contact....Luckily for those of us who believe in the laws of physics, there is much biblical evidence that this fantastic image of return is not to be taken literally. Consider the story of Elijah. The Old Testament speaks of the ascension of Elijah, much like the ascension of Jesus, in which he gets taken up into heaven:

"Then it came about as they were going along and talking, that behold, there appeared a chariot of fire and horses of fire which separated the two of them. And Elijah went up by a whirlwind to heaven" 2 Kings 2:11

This is an important statement because Elijah was prophesied to return before the coming of the Christ:

"Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord." Malachy 4:5

One of the major stumbling blocks that the Jews had in accepting Jesus as the Christ is that they believed that Elijah would return in same manner in which he was taken up. Jesus addresses this, saying that in fact Elijah did come, but not as they were expecting. Instead John the Baptist was the manifestation of Elijah. It is clear that Jesus’s definition of Elijah return was inherently spiritual:

"And his disciples asked him, saying, 'Why then do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?' And He answered and said, 'Elijah is coming and will restore all things'; but I say to you, that Elijah already came, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they wished. So also the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands. Then the disciples understood that He had spoken to them about John the Babtist." Matthew 17:19


Spiritual vs. Physical Resurrection

If we are to believe that Jesus physically resurrected and will also physically return, why is it that the Jews also believed this even though it wasn’t the case? Could it be that the return of Jesus will also be a spiritual return, manifested in a different physical vessel? Paul the apostle hints at the fact that many of God’s teachings can only be understood using a spiritual lens:

"For to us God revealed them through the spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of a man, which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words. But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of god; for they are fo0lishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised." 1 Corinthians 2:10-14


He also clearly lays out the difference between the physical body and the spiritual body, and the relationship that they have with each other. In the first part this statement, he talks about how we must sacrifice our physical selves so that our spiritual selves can be liberated:

"But someone will say, how are the dead raised? And with what kind of body do they come? You fool! That which you sow does not come to life unless it dies; and that which you sow, you do not sow the body which is to be, but a bare grain, perhaps of wheat or of something else. But God gives it a body just as He wished, and to each of the seeds a body of its own...There are also heavenly bodies and earthly bodies, but the glory of the heavenly is one, and the glory of the earthly is another...So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body, if there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.”

In the second part, he uses the analogy of the first Adam, who represents the physical self, compared to the last Adam (Christ), who becomes the life giving spirit. He ends the quote by making it very clear that a perishable body cannot inherit the imperishable body; they are two distinctly different things:

"The first Man, Adam, became a living soul. The last Adam(Christ) became a life-giving spirit. However the spiritual is not first, but the natural; then the spiritual. The first man is from the earth, earthy; the second man is from heaven, heavenly. As is the earthy, so also are those who are earthy; and as is the heavenly, so also are those who are heavenly. And just as we have born the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly. Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable." 1Corinthians 15:35-50

This is an unequivocal statement that our physical bodies will not be resurrected, as many Christians believe. They are flesh and blood, perishable; they must be sown like seeds to make way for the tree of the spirit. So than what about Jesus? Was he not resurrected physically? The accounts of him leaving the tomb after the crucifixion and appearing before the disciples are written in a very literal manner:

“And very early on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen…And entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting at the right, wearing a white robe; and they were amazed. And he said to them, ‘do not be amazed; you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who has been crucified. He has risen; He is not here.” Mark 16:2-6

"Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself, touch Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have…He said to them, ‘Have you anything here to eat? And they gave Him a piece of a broiled fish; and He took it and ate it before them." Luke 24:38-39

By looking only at the previous accounts, it would seem clear that Jesus's resurrection was literal. This interpretation however is inconsistent with Paul’s description of the natural and spiritual body. One could argue that Jesus is the exception when it comes to physical resurrection. However, this is inconsistent with other passages where it is stated that we will be raised in the same manner as Jesus:

"Always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh…Knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you" 2 Corinthians 4:10-14

The appearances of Jesus to his disciples must have been the spiritual body of Jesus. An overpowering spiritual bounty that was so real and amazing that it could only be explained in terms of physical experience, such as touching His wounds and eating with him. Three days after Jesus had been crucified, his body had been sown, the body that his followers had known had disappeared, His spiritual body had been resurrected, and was available to all who sought to abide in the spirit of Jesus, and have that spirit abide in them:

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me." John 15:4

This spirit of Jesus became the spirit of God, and the spirit of love:

"It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life". John 6:63

"God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:24

"The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love." 1 John 4:1


Spiritual Return

If Jesus resurrected spiritually, he will also return spiritually. He speaks at length about this spiritual return, which he describes as a different entity all together:

"'And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you.'" John 14:16-17

"When the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, that is the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, He will bear witness of Me." John 15:26

"But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper shall not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you." John 16:7

Most Christian’s interpret the “helper” as being the third part in the Holy Trinity, referred to as the Holy Spirit. The idea of the trinity was constructed by early Christian theologians attempting to make sense of these verses. The concept of the trinity doesn’t explicitly exist within the Bible. Since we know that the spiritual body of Jesus must be manifested within us, it “is now easy to see that the “helper” can actually refer to Jesus's spiritual return. This spiritual return is also referred to as “the Spirit of truth”, who will speak to us according to our increased capacity, which is no longer in figurative language, but as plain as day:

"I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He shall glorify Me; for He shall take of Mine, and shall disclose it to you" John 16:12-14

These things I have spoken to you in a figurative language; an hour is coming when I will speak no more to you in figurative language, but will tell you plainly of the father." John 16:25

This being, which is referred to as the the "Helper", the "Spirit of Truth", and as Himself, will also have a new name.

"He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he will not go out from it anymore; and I will write upon him the name of My God, and the name of the city of My God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God, and My 'new name'" Revelation 3:12


False Prophets

Jesus was very clear that there would be many false prophets:

"For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many." Matthew 24:5

He also warned His followers to be skeptical of any rumors of a promised one:

“Then if anyone says to you, 'Behold, here is the Christ,' or 'There He is,' do not believe him. For false christ’s and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect. Behold, I have told you in advance. If therefore they say to you, 'Behold, He is in the wilderness,' do not go forth, or, 'Behold, He is in the inner rooms,' do not believe them." Matthew 24:23-26

He clearly states that he is the only Christ:

"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through me." John 14:6

And his followers assert that Jesus is the only name which can be followed: "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved" Acts 4:12

Peter, who was the foundation of the early church, also admonished the followers to stay clear of false prophets and destructive heresies:

"But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves." 2 Peter 2:1

John, another core follower of Jesus, describes the king of false prophets, the Antichrist, and provided the criteria by which to judge:

"Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son." 1 John 2:20


Criteria for Discernment

So how will we know when Jesus does return, how can we avoid being led astray? This is not an easy question. The Bible says that Jesus will come at a time when we do not think he will:

"Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming. But be sure of this, that if the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into. For this reason you be ready too; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think he will." Matthew 25:42-44

When he comes, it will be like a thief in the night. When do we know when our house has been robbed? We know the morning after the fact. We do not know when Jesus will return. He might already be here:

“For you yourselves know full well that the day of the Lord will come just like a thief in the night.” 1 Thessalonians 5:2

Fortunately, the Bible gives ample guidance as to what to look for. We must look to the fruits:

"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they" Even so, every good tree bears good fruit; but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits." Matthew 7:15

So how can we discern a prophet bearing good fruit from a prophet bearing bad fruit? We must test the spirits to see if they are from God. They must bear good fruits, and they must testify that Christ has come in the flesh and is from God:

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; and this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world" 1 John 4:1-3

This implies an independent investigation of truth. This means that we cannot just believe something because our families or friends believe it. We do not want to be of those mentioned in the following verse, who persecuted the prophets just as our fathers might have:

"You men who are stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears are always resisting the Holy Spirit; you are doing just as your fathers did. Which one of the prophets did you fathers not persecute? And they killed those who had previously announced the coming of the Righteous One, whose betrayers and murderers you have now become; you who have received the law as ordained by angels, and yet did not keep it." Acts 7:51-53


A Case for Baha’u’llah

The Baha’is believe that the Spirit of Jesus has returned in the human temple of Baha’u’llah. We do not expect anybody to believe this because we say so, but we do exhort people to independently investigate the truth of Baha’u’llahs claim and to judge him by his fruits. First look at the life of Baha’u’llah, which was defined by selfless love and service in the face of extreme adversity and opposition. Any seeker who would meet Him would be so transformed and humbled by the overpowering spirit and power of His presence, that many would go on to dedicate their lives, and even face martyrdom, to advance the cause of Baha’u’llah.

Second, look at the world community that Baha’u’llah has set up. Every day, Baha’is coming from every corner of the globe arrives on pilgrimage to the Baha’i world center on Mount Carmel in Haifa, Israel. Throughout the world, the Baha’is are devoted to establishing the kingdom of God on earth, where all peoples, regardless of race, religion, culture, or gender will become united and establish peace on earth described in the Bible:

“In the last days, the mountain of the house of the Lord will be established as the chief of the mountains, and will be raised above the hills; and all the nations will stream to it. And many people’s will come and say, ‘come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; that He may walk in His paths.’ For the law will go forth from Zion, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. And He will judge between the nations, and will render decision for many peoples; and they will hammer their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, and never again will they learn war.” Isaiah 2:2-4

The Baha’i faith is the first religion in the history of the world that has not broken up into competing sects. Baha’u’llah establish a clear covenant by which the authority is clear, and yet there is room for flexibility and organic growth. In every Baha’ i community with at least 9 members, a local spiritual assembly is elected to guide the community. This election is done by secret ballot, there is no campaigning. People are encouraged to vote in a prayerful manner for those that will best guide their community. No one person has more spiritual authority over anybody else, there is no clergy. The assembly comes to decisions as a body through a process of consultation. This pattern is replicated on a national level, and on a global level. Every 5 years, 9 members are elected by Baha’is from all over the world to serve on the Universal House of Justice. While this body is obligated to follow the guidance explicitly set down by the founders, they are tasked with guiding the world community, and deciding on matters that have not already been revealed.

Third, Baha’u’llah constantly speaks of Jesus as the Son of God, who came to earth to bring salvation to the souls of men. Here is but one of many verses where Baha’u’llah praises Jesus:

“Know though that when the Son of Man yielded up His breath to God, the whole creation wept with a great weeping. By sacrificing Himself, however, a fresh capacity was infused into all created things…We testify that when He came into the world, He shed the splendor of His glory upon all created things…Through His power, born of Almighty God, the eyes of the blind were opened, and the soul of the sinner sanctified.” –Baha’u’llah

Putting Baha’u’llah’s praises of Jesus within a larger context, he taught a concept called progressive revelation. This means that God has been with humanity at all times, giving guidance through manifestations of God. The core spiritual message is always the same, ancient and eternal:

“It is clear and evident to thee that all the Prophets are the Temples of the Cause of God, Who have appeared clothed in diverse attire. If thou wilt observe with discriminating eyes, thou wilt behold Them all abiding in the same tabernacle, soaring in the same heaven, seated upon the same throne, uttering the same speech, and proclaiming the same Faith.” - Baha’u’llah

Nevertheless, this Spirit of God is revealed using concepts and establishing laws relevant to the culture and evolutionary capacity of the people. Jesus speaks of progressive revelation using the parable of the wineskins:

"And he was telling them a parable: 'No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts in on an old garment; otherwise he will both tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins, and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined. But the new wine must be put into fresh wineskins.'" Luke 5:35

Today is the day where the new wine of the spirit is reviving the hearts of humans, recreating the very foundation of civilization. It is not an instant event that is beyond our reach. Instead, we have been given the spiritual tools to build this new civilization ourselves, and thereby realize and manifest our true spiritual self, which mirrors the Spirit of God:

“This is the day in which God’s most excellent favors have been poured out upon men, the Day in which His most mighty grace hath been infused into all created things. It is incumbent upon all the peoples of the world to reconcile their differences, and, with perfect unity and peace, abide beneath the shadow of the Tree of His care and loving kindness…Soon will the present-day order be rolled up, and a new one spread out in its stead. Verily, thy Lord speaketh the truth, and is the knower of things unseen.” –Baha’u’llah.

Dishes in the Eye of the Storm

Cutting through the tomato and hamburger infusion of grease and gristle. Hands scrubbing not fast enough, but content, slopping around the sink full of brown-water mystery chunk. It's disgusting, that is true. But I am happy.

I remember the first times, I would cry and whine as my mom insisted with the horrible yellow gloves locked and loaded. It all seemed so cruel, so unnatural then, when so many things were on TV or alive in my closet ready colonize the floor. Sometimes my step-dad would offer to help after about 20 minutes of melodrama. Clever as I was, I would suggest that the best way to get done would be to hide some of the dirty cups and dinnerware among the mess of junk and appliances that always seemed to accumulate in every corner of the house."No, we're going to do it all, it's no big deal", he would say with a hint of disgust at my worthlessness. He never seemed to fully realize that I was a kid, and therefore he would hold me to the standard of an adult. I hadn't realized that he wasn't a kid. It made no sense why he wasn't interested in fooling my mom to get out of work. It turns out he was the kid however. Pouting around the house, going out to the truck to smoke a cigarette, cursing at the suggestion of my mom to take out the trash, donning the bandanna when he wanted to be an independent badass. Leaving my mom...as she had left the man before him, for him.

What is it that makes me so uncomfortable with dishwashers? My younger self is still steaming with jealousy, and is incredulous that I take such a miracle machine for granted. I often feel compelled to use it because it saves time, but I look forward to the situation in which it can't be used, like in the case of big greasy pans which cannot be processed so efficiently. I know it's going to be nasty, and it is. But to actually get it clean again, after such a feast that should rightly require a sacrifice or two, the process is deemed worthy to be an analogy for the soul.

A very different situation, with a very different response, and no more than a day might have separated the two. When my dad asked for a glass of water, I jumped up and got it, no questions asked. Likewise, when he asked me to wash the dishes, the same action applied. It wasn't so bad though, dishes didn't pile up in his house. In fact, nothing piled up. Two forks, two knives, two plates, a pan, maybe two bowls, that's about all that would need to be cleaned. It was not something that required a willful forgetfulness of the precious time I was missing (and when there is a clear bedtime, you better believe time is precious!). It was over and done, and I felt like a king, not a crybaby. Oh, there were never those horrible yellow gloves.

Thesis update

So I am in the last phase of my thesis, getting ready to send out 2000 surveys, 1000 each to the homes in two different clusters of Albuquerque. While I am only looking at two areas, I have to send out so many because probably only 10-15% will respond. It is quite a bureaucratic and time consuming headache to do this. First I had to get Internal Review Board (IRB) approval which required a mountain paperwork, an online course, and three weeks of waiting. This approval is required for anybody doing a study involving human subjects as a way to insure against possible exploitation. Now I am getting the bulk mailing worked out with the UNM campus mail. I will provide them with the materials (2000 surveys, 2000 consent forms, 2000 10" envelopes), and they will put together the smaller, business reply mail pre-paid envelopes that the responds will use to mail back their surveys. They will also sort and stuff all of the large envelopes and send them out. It will take about two weeks to get all of the details sorted and all of surveys ready to be mailed. Finally, It will probably take about 3 weeks to get all the surveys back.

I am saying all this because I am getting impatient. I want to finish my thesis, graduate, and get on with my life. While sometimes I wish that I didn't go the survey route, I think that in the end it will pay off. I decided to do it because it is rare in the literature to see an analysis that uses both qualitative and quantitative analysis. I am interested in a personal and descriptive analysis to complement all the data that has been processed

The goal of my thesis is to identify neighborhoods in Bernalillo County that lack provision of healthy (primarily meaning access to fruits and vegetables) and relatively cheap food. The quantitative side of the analysis involves two things. The first is to determine personal distance, meaning in this case the average network distance (aggregated on a block group scale) of people to various types of food retailers. Block groups are ranked based upon the aggregate median distance to supermarkets, grocery stores, specialty shops, etc. The second is to determine personal mobility, meaning the ability of people to get to these food retailers in a reasonable amount of time. While there is no index to do this directly, It can be inferred based upon a set of demographic and spatial characteristics, such as car ownership, distance to a bus network, unemployment, disability, poverty, education, etc. Finally, personal distance and personal mobility are compared to rank personal accessibility and possibly identify "food deserts" (areas where people clearly lack accessibility and risk facing health risks in consequence).

I have identified two clusters that could be construed as "food deserts" based upon my analysis. While they have equally dismal personal mobility characteristics, they are different in that one has decent access to supermarkets, but not grocery stores, and the other visa-versa. The purpose of the surveys is to determine if the people's perception of personal food accessibility confirms my methodology and results. In the literature, most people assume that supermarkets are the only real source of healthy and cheap food. I want to see if that is true based upon peoples perceptions.

I am hoping that this analysis will help to better target "food deserts" in Bernalillo County so that businesses and non-profits can better serve these areas. There is a push in many parts of the country to encourage local agriculture in urban areas that lack it. There are also other endeavors, such as food on wheels, which takes healthy food on mobile carts directly to the areas that are lacking.

I am also hoping that I have made a contribution to the spatial accessibility and food accessibility literature by improving upon some methodology. In addition to paring qualitative analysis with quantitative, there are some other methods that I feel are somewhat original.

1) Frequently I see people walking, carrying bags of food. For this reason I set up the network to account for the fact that many people do not own vehicles. bike paths and arroyos were included with rodes as plausible walking routes.

2) Network analysis is a way to calculate the distance from one point to another along a given network. In order to make distance information comparable to census data, it must be aggregated to a census scale, such as a block group. Researchers often estimate the distance of a population from the geometric center of a block group to the nearest facility. The problem with this (in addition to the fact that the resolution is bad) is that the population is not homogeneously distributed through each block group. The geometric center is therefore often a poor measure of average distance. What I did is to find the distance from every residential address point to the nearest food store, and then take the median of those distances within the block group. While the measure is still not perfect it better accounts for heterogeneous population distributions.

3.) Most of the literature assumes that supermarkets are the only source of food. It is widely known that local neighborhood shops are more expensive and have less selection, but they should not be neglected in the analysis. Farmers markets should also be considered, since they are tied to local agriculture and cultural traditions. That is one reason why in my surveys I want to compare people's perception of food provision in different kind of food environments.

This thesis has taken longer than I hoped, and has required more work than I would have liked. There have been many setbacks. At one point my hard drive was stolen containing weeks worth of work. A few times I have realized that something was done wrong a few steps back in a work-flow process, causing me to have to redo the entire process. On the other hand I have learned more doing this than I could have by taking any class. In classes, the data is already clean and the methodology is taught to you. In this I had to find new ways of doing things and work around intractible problems. It has been quite the experience

A Heart is Beating in the Dark Chilled Night...

Close my eyes and go to sleep...

A heart is beating in the dark chilled night, rhythmically, frantically, and without permission. It is alone, and in this moment there is life. Amazing, what are the odds?

From a birds eye view, pan out into a speck, the scariest hilarity that I can think of is a brief pondering of an infinite universe. To scary to maintain, to epic to handle and categorize, but yet there is life, what are the odds?

In every body, a heart is beating in the dark chilled night, rhythmically, frantically, and without permission. They are alone, and there is life in this moment, and these moments cannot be captured. Amazing, what are the odds?

We are alone. But we have each other to be alone with. If only we are brave enough to impale ourselves onto the spears of our intimacy fears. To finally confront, and to keep confronting those parts of ourselves that insist, scratch, scream, tear, bite, ravage, spit, sputter, spittle, spatter, spite, anger, agitate, and lobby for the advancement of the cause: a stoic self perception of being distant and autonomous. This is incredibly difficult and the odds are remote.

Broken into my waking...

to find a warm body and two hearts beating in the dark chilled night, rhythmically, frantically, and without permission. We are alone and there is life, and we are in love in this moment. And in this moment we have captured each other. Amazing, what are the odds?

Fasting Reflections

Baha'i's Fast for 19 days out of the year, meaning we don't take in food or drink from sunrise to sunset. We considered it one of the pillars of our faith, a time of reflection, detachment, and rejuvenation.

Fasting is always an interesting time for me. My whole world is turned around.

There are the day to day practical changes. I have not been exercising. During the day I need to maintain some hydration while at night, after I have eaten and digested, It is already late and I am tired. I am less social during the fast. I have less energy to engage people in conversation that I am ambivilent about. I avoid going to lunch or coffee with friends, which is usually the most social part of the day. There is also more time to work because I am not excusing myself for coffee and snacks, yet I probably get less work done. My attention span gets shot starting at about 2pm.

Then there are the spiritual things. We are told that every hour of this time is endued with a special spiritual potency. The time that is spent well in my consciousness and spirit is amplified, while the time I waste and misdirect feels more tragic. There are also less things to distract me from my core being, and more things to remind me of it. The day is not broken up in the same manageable chunks before and after meals; instead it is a long and drawn out marathon all day, and then all day again the next, for 19 days. I lose the strength to manage and marginalize in my mind and soul the personal and moral issues that I am facing. Food is no longer a viable way to forget and distract.

It is a direct confrontation and struggle. There are only two ways to respond to this. Either prayer is used to accept, engage, and transcend these issues, or I get resentful and crabby. There have been many times during the Fast where I have eaten just to comfort a whiny heart, and to spite any injunction that it not be pampered. There is no middle ground during the fast. Most of the time I live my life in this middle ground, a comfortable place that neither rejects nor fully accepts spiritual consciousness. Pink Floyd coined it as being "comfortably numb".

During the Fast, we have the potential to grow and evolve, or to sink into the dark depths of ourselves. It is really the only choice we have at anytime, it just becomes especially salient during these 19 days; and probably when we die.

Commentary on "until you find an angle or two"

It occurred to me (through a friend) that my last post, "until you find an angle or two", was written in an overly cryptic manner, reflecting a context that was sensible only to myself. I decided to write a commentary on it because I feel that the concepts are more universal than the writing was.

The main theme of this post is the often cyclical journey of spirituality. We can only hope that we spiral upwards.

How can is act decisively in eyes that stare form other angles?

Is refers to what is, the steady flow of day to day life. In my mind, it carries an aura of mediocrity, of existing in a comfortable bubble. Day by day, week by week. There are no decisive steps, no grasping of true conviction. Therefore, Is can be swept away in a myriad of different thought processes, stare through eyes from other angles.

Why does is always assume there is time to spare?

A continuation of mediocrity. It is easy to assume that we have all the time in the world. With every passing day, we lay our heads to rest; always assuming there will be many more tomorrows to make up for what we didn't do today.

There is no more time, there is no more spare.

Kind of a wakeup call. True spirituality doesn't live in the future, it is right now, or never.

Despair is, is it not? Unless there is time, In which case is can continue watching on the sly.

If judged with urgency, we realize with despair that Is is the world of unreality, the precious hours that slipped through our fingers. At this point we can either confront it (next part), or we can ignore and forget it-believing the misguided notion that there is time to spare. The relative world will filter back in almost unnoticed, on the sly.

Is, the pretense past. Or is the pretense past? In any case (and at this point is can only hope) the scraping is enveloping the desolate heart; appealing to, or emoting into that rugged gatekeeper of childhood; morphology of dreamscape.

This refers to the next stage (at least for me) of despair, after I have realized the Pretense of Is (maybe, Is is tricky, hence the statement and the question). It becomes a very intense, tumultuous, emotion time for me. The scraping of the desolate heart. It reminds me of mortality, and rotting flesh, which to me is all tied up in the landscape from which I came and to which I will return. It is tied up in memories of my childhood, which takes on a mythical aura. The landscape of my childhood has morphed into a dreamscape.

Unexpected, unassumed, and unheralded. That waffling film is being grasped. Being, with the orthodox vantage, sees is clinging, but whatever. That's and was.

Being in this case refers to a spiritual state in which all directions are merged into the eternal present. Where there are no longer any angles, only the oneness of God. The waffling film refers to that thin veil that blinds our eyes, and it is being grasped, crumpled into our fists. There is still a scent of Is, which is clinging, but it is insignificant.

Being...absolute clarity, unflinching vision, pure spirit, nowhere and no chance to run. Unless you find an angle or two. Is, is it not?

The world of Being is very hard to withstand. It requires constant and continual vigilance and self-sacrifice. It is easy, even when you are maintaining that state, to fall off your guard. To let songs slip into your head that seem perfectly rational, and little comfortable, and are very interesting angles that can take root and be justified with time. Is, is it not?

unless you find an angle or two

How can is act decisively in eyes that stare from other angles? Why does is always assume that there is time to spare? there is no more time, there is no more spare. Despair is, is it not? Unless there is time, In which case is can continue watching on the sly.

Is, the pretense past. Or is the pretense past? In any case (and at this point is can only hope) the scraping is enveloping the desolate heart; appealing to, or emoting into that rugged gatekeeper of childhood; morphology of dreamscape.

Unexpected, unassumed, and unheralded. That waffling film is being grasped. Being, with the orthodox vantage, sees is clinging, but whatever. That's and was. Being...absolute clarity, unflinching vision, pure spirit, nowhere and no chance to run. Unless you find an angle or two. Is, is it not?

Jesus and the Unity of Humankind

"The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath." - Luke 6:5

This was a profound and controversial statement made by Jesus. It was a response to the Pharisees who criticized Him and His followers for eating and drinking on the Sabbath. A curious statement considering that he fully upheld the law.

"Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.
For Truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass away from the Law, until all is accomplished.
Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven" - Matthew 5:17-19

The key concept here is that while he did not come to abolish the law, he did come to fulfill it. This distinction is key. Like in so many other cases, he uses a parable to draw the distinction:

"No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment; otherwise he will both tear the new, and the piece from the will will not match the old.
And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins, and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined.
But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins." - Luke 5:36-3

Jesus, "Lord of the Sabbath", announces that he is the new wine, and the grace and salvation that he provides is the new wineskin, the fulfilment of the law. The implication of this is that all humans now have access to salvation, not just the Jews who had controlled the physical means previously. As Paul is to state later:

"But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and the circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God." - Romans 2:29

To justify this concept, Jesus quotes the book of Isaiah:

"'The voice of one crying in the wilderness, make ready the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. Every ravine shall be filled up, and every mountain and hill shall be brought low; and the crooked shall become straight, and the rough roads smooth; and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.'" - Luke 3:4-6

This means that the gates had been opened, and all flesh now had access to the salvation of God, not just the Jews. Elsewhere he states:

"And not for the nation only, but that He might also gather together into one the children of God who are scattered abroad" - John 11:52

"And I have other sheep, which are not of this fold, I must bring them also, and they shall hear My voice; and they shall become one flock with one shepherd. " - John 10:16

Naturally this was not an easy thing for many to accept, even for many of his closest followers. Peter, whom Jesus proclaimed "you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my My church", was hesitant to allow non-Jews into the Church. If Peter was the rock of the church, then Paul was the vision. He consistently pursued the teaching of everybody, no matter the background:

"For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgement, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.
for just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function,
so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. And since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let each exercise them accordingly..." - Romans 12:3-6

Eventually Peter did come around, but it took a direct exhortation from God:

"And on the next day, as they were on their way, and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray.
And he became hungry, and was desiring to eat; but while they were making preparations, he fell into a trance;
and he beheld the sky opened up, and a certain object like a great sheet coming down, lowered by four corners to the ground,
and there were in it all kinds of four-footed animals and crawling creatures of the earth and birds of the air.
And a voice came to him, 'Arise, Peter, kill and eat!'
But Peter said, 'By no means, Lord, for I have never eaten anything unholy and unclean.'
And again a voice came to him a second time, 'what God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy...'
And as he talked with him, he entered, and found many people assembled.
And he said to them, 'You yourselves know how unlawful it is for a man who is a Jew to associate with a foreigner or to visit him; and yet God has shown me that I should not call any man unholy or unclean...'
'I most certainly understand now that God is not one to show partiality, but in every nation the man who fears Him and does what is right, is welcome to him.'" - Acts 10:9-35

One of the most compelling teachings of Jesus is unity in diversity. Through the spirit, people of all different colors, races, cultures, and customs can become united. In this realm, nobody can be considered above anybody else, a revolutionary teaching 2000 years ago and even today. Imagine if Christians had truly followed this guidance. They would not have engaged in colonization, slavery, war, and subjugation. In fact, many Christians acted like the Pharisees who discriminated based upon race and nationality, effectively missing the point completely:

"'And why do you call Me, Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?'"..."'But the one who has heard, and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house upon the ground without any foundation, and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great'". - Luke 6:46-49