There are those days when I feel productive, there are those that are more stale and meaningless, there are also those that are filled with intense emotion, an unquenchable desire to extract meaning out of every atom, every pedal. There are those days where I feel a victom to my ego, both haughty and insecure. There are those days which are wrapt in prayer, serene, loving, sacraficing. There are those days which I feel so busy that I start feeling and thinking like a robot. Analytical, judging, separating, evaluating, producing....
Today is an interesting day. I am in the midst of finals, also in the midst of helping to launch an intensive program of growth, I constantly feel overwhelmed and busy. I am in a productive mode, yet I also feel incredibly sensitive to every emotion, especially those of awe, love, and tears. The objective flurry is becoming a captive of my subjective dreamscape, corny as it sounds...it is exciting. Walls are breaking down, probably to be rebuild at a later date, but maybe not. Assumptions are loosing there secure footing, I want to see everything in the now, as it really is. I am tired of proper perspective, I am tired of conceptual models, I am tired...and yet overjoyed...and exhausted.
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