Christian Wiman is a very thoughtful and
introspective Christian author. I am really enjoying his book My Bright Abyss:
Meditations of a Modern Believer. This quote struck me, especially the last
couple of sentences.
"I once believed in some notion of pure
ambition, which I defined as an ambition for the work rather than oneself. But
now? If a poet's ambition were truly for the work and nothing else, he would
write under a pseudonym, which would not only preserve that pure space of
making but free him from the distractions of trying to forge a name for himself
in the world. No, all ambition has the reek of disease about it, the relentless
smell of the self - except for that terrible, blissful feeling at the heart of
creation itself, when all thought of your name is obliterated and all you want
is the poem, to be the means wherein something of reality, perhaps even
something of eternity, realizes itself. That is noble ambition. But all that
comes after - the need for approval, publication, self-promotion - isn't this
what usually goes under the
name of "ambition"? The effort is to make ourselves more real to
ourselves, to feel that we have selves, though the deepest moments of creation
tell us that, in some fundamental way, we don't (souls are what those moments
reveal, which are both inside and outside, both us and other.) so long as your
ambition is to stamp your existence upon existence, your nature on nature, then
your ambition is corrupt and you are pursuing a ghost.
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