It is always interesting to look at old photographs of two years back, four years back, six years back. Kids are tinier, some people look the same, some people look surprisingly different. It is always easy to think; "Those were the days, now everything is different, now I'm old...".
The problem with photographs is that they most often don't reflect reality. Everybody always looks happy in photographs. We smile to project this ideal of happiness to a later date, it is our attempt at immortality. Often, we are really hurting inside, and yet we look happy, disturbed, yet we look blissful. These photos are an example. This was during my second year of college, I had just broken up with my first love over matters of Faith. I faced other almost debilitating mental and emotional challenges, some which directly related, some which seemed to be unrelated and come out of nowhere. I wanted so badly to be happy...and spiritually free, as in the Prayer:
...Assist him so that he may fly towards the apex of prosperity and salvation, wing his way with the utmost joy and happiness throughout the illuminable space, raise his melody in Thy supreme name in all the regions...
The more I wanted it, the more trapped I felt. I got to the point where I seriously felt that I was crazy, that I could no longer continue to function within society.
That is why it is interesting for me to look back at old pictures. Because I look so happy and I think; "Wow, those were good times, Things now seem pale in comparison." Then I realize that that was one of the worst years of my life, since then I have grown so much and have realized stability and progress in my spiritual journey. I have overcome so much.
4 comments:
i've thought the same thing. i guess that why i don't take photographs except for purposes of making art.
when people show me there scrapbooks i always think, "oh what a nice life you have....were that i had such a nice life..."
but it's all just fiction in the end isn't it? fiction without function.
so there ya go...that's why i don't care for casual picture taking. it would be interesting to be documented objectively. to have someone take a picture of your life 6 times each day...maybe on the hour...of each hour which is divisible by four.
i no longer believe in reality...only perception. and time changes all of that. in a good mood...you remember all the good time....in a bad mood you remember all the bad times.
i generally spray eau de toilette on all my old memories.
when people ask me about new mexico....you should here the bullshit that comes outta my mouth. it's only the good stuff.
i propose that we stop smiling for our pictures. that we hold our faces as we would if we were alone in that moment.
to do anything else is a lie and verily
"truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues..."
love,
your sister
"The more I wanted it, the more trapped I felt. I got to the point where I seriously felt that I was crazy, that I could no longer continue to function within society"
....so, how'd you get over it?
I think a lot of people have that feeling and some people just give/give into being just another drone in society...
get up, go to work, come home...get up, go to work, come home, die.
To the Previous Comment. "....so, how'd you get over it?"
At first I just tryed to fight it, and when that didn't work I became very angry, at myself and at God.
Finally I just had to give up... give up my will to the will of God. Give up my desire to be enlightened. And accept my state and also accept the consequences of it. That started the healing process.
Life is always going to be difficult or sad at times, and when I'm in those times it's really scary and I wonder about the reason for it all. Funny thing is, I've almost never felt a need to photograph those moments, because, truth be told, those moments are not for me to preserve in material form, but rather in my psyche and soul so that I can learn and develop...grow spiritually. The happiness portrayed in photos of myself, I feel, was the highest level of honesty, because no matter what I was going through at the time, I still found a reason to smile. That's real. That's truth. The amazing human capacity to find happiness, if even for a moment, in any situation.
"If a man become touched with the divine spark, even though he be an outcast and oppressed, he will be happy and his happiness cannot die." - ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
"To see the joy of divine gladness on your faces is the cause of my happiness, for when I see you happy, I am happy also. The divine messengers come to bring joy to this earth, for this is the planet of tribulation and torment and the mission of the great masters is to turn men away from these anxieties and to infuse life with infinite joy." - ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
"If we are not happy and joyous at this season, for what other season shall we wait and for what other time shall we look?" - ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
"Don't worry, be happy" - Bobby McFerrin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhAjrIAFiJ0)
I Love you all :-)
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